Marriage is often seen as the ultimate union of love, commitment, and partnership. It\u2019s a celebration of two people coming together to build a life and a future. When I see couples celebrating their marriages, smiling and looking genuinely happy, I can\u2019t help but admire them. I smile with them, but deep down, I sometimes feel a pang of sadness. It’s a sadness born from the realization that this is something I never truly experienced, and I\u2019m not sure I ever will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a child, I would watch other children laugh and joke about their parents’ love. They would mimic their parents\u2019 affectionate gestures, and their eyes would light up with admiration. It always saddened me that I never experienced that growing up. My father passed away early in my life, and I longed for the day I could give my own children what I missed\u2014a home where they could admire their parents’ love and feel secure in the knowledge that they were loved by both their mother and father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If there is one mistake I made, one mistake I deeply regret, it\u2019s the mistake of choosing the wrong lifetime partner. This mistake is something I wouldn\u2019t wish on anyone. When you get it wrong, so many things in your life can go wrong\u2014things that you might never have the chance to correct. Growing up without a father, I yearned to create a family where my children would never have to feel the void that I did. I wanted them to have what I missed\u2014a loving home with both parents present and involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I thought about marriage, divorce was never part of the plan. It never even crossed my mind. I wanted a home where my children would come back every day to find their mother and father happy, together, and in love. At the time I got married, my mother had already passed away, so it was just me and the man I married, starting to build a new home together. My only goal was to make it work. That was my job, my mission. I was determined to create the family I had always dreamed of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a young wife, I did everything I could to make my marriage work. I prayed fervently, believing that God would help me save my marriage. My sister-in-law can bear witness to the lengths I went to. Together, we visited various ministries and prayer houses, praying to bring back a man who, in reality, didn\u2019t need to be “brought back” because he had never truly left\u2014at least not physically. The midnight tears I shed were countless. I wasn\u2019t going to leave him because he cheated or was cheating; I had no intention of leaving at all. I wanted my marriage to work because I wanted my children to grow up with their father in their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At that time, I was willing to accept the bare minimum just so my children could have their father around. I believed that, with time, things would get better, as my mother-in-law assured me. But then she passed away, and the reality of my situation began to set in. I was so focused on preparing for marriage that I didn\u2019t realize I should have prepared to choose the right person to marry. I didn\u2019t know what red flags were, and I had no understanding of compatibility. But one thing I knew for sure was that I was willing to work on my marriage, no matter what.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Contrary to what many might think, I didn\u2019t walk out of my marriage\u2014he did. Despite everything that happened during our time together, I was still willing to stay and work things out. I gave it time; I cried; I prayed; I sought advice from family and friends. I even reached out to people like Angela Nwosu, asking what more I could do to save my marriage. I was devastated at the thought that my children were about to experience life without their father, just as I had. But this time, their father wasn\u2019t dead; he simply didn\u2019t want to be there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When it finally became clear that I was wasting my time, I made a decision. I called everyone involved and told them that if I ever moved on, even if Jesus Christ himself came down from heaven and spoke to me, I would never go back. They understood what I was saying, but I guess he thought I was bluffing. On my own, I went to my kinsmen and told them to annul the marriage. I needed to be sure that I broke every tie that could make me change my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Shortly after I had dissolved everything and was gradually moving on, the same man I had begged, cried, and pleaded with came back, saying he wanted us to get back together. But by then, I was no longer the woman he had married. I wasn\u2019t that naive woman who would take anything just to keep the marriage. I wasn\u2019t that woman who would accept the bare minimum anymore. My fears had become my strength, and I had moved on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Years have passed since then, and while I still feel bad that my children don\u2019t have their father actively in their lives, I know I made the right decision. I would rather have him take them with him, if he wants to, than go back to that life. I don\u2019t blame him as much as I blame myself. He never really hid who he was; I just didn\u2019t pay attention. I didn\u2019t look out for the things people should look out for in a partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marriage is not something that one person can make work on their own. Before you enter into it, make sure the person you\u2019re marrying is the right one for you. Make sure they are willing to put in the same effort you are to make the marriage work. If you ever get it wrong, so many things can go wrong\u2014things that you might never be able to fix. Take the time to choose wisely, because once you\u2019re in, it\u2019s not as easy to get out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Marriage is often seen as the ultimate union of love, commitment, and partnership. It\u2019s a celebration of two people coming together to build a life and a future. When I see couples celebrating their marriages, smiling and looking genuinely happy, I can\u2019t help but admire them. I smile with them, but deep down, I sometimes …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-counseling"],"yoast_head":"\n