Some months ago, I delivered human hair to a client at her residence in Bayelsa. At that time, I was working with a particular hair brand, and she purchased two wigs worth 190,000 naira.
Her name was Amaka, an Igbo woman—petite and slightly curvaceous. When it comes to fashion, many people, especially women, are willing to spend generously. But there’s more to this story than just a sale.
As I was leaving, having descended from the third floor of her apartment, she called me back, saying she wanted to have a private conversation. I agreed, and we both made our way downstairs. She pulled out two plastic chairs, and we sat under the shade of a garage, protected from the scorching sun.
Amaka confided in me that she was 38 years old and felt that time was no longer on her side. She explained that she was looking for a partner to settle down with but found it challenging. She described herself as an introvert who preferred staying indoors and mentioned that she was a graduate, successfully running her own business and making good money by the grace of God.
I bluntly told her that staying in one place wouldn’t help her find a man.
She responded, “But I love my space. I know the kind of problems I’ve avoided just by staying alone. The reason I want a man in my life is because, no matter how much I use sex toys to please myself, they can never give me a child. I yearn for a partner to fulfill my desire for a child. Although I’m financially stable, my emotional well-being feels lacking. I want a child badly but don’t want to end up with the wrong man.”
I asked, “Have you discussed this with your pastor?”
“No… This is something personal. How do I even begin to explain to my pastor that I need a man? It feels awkward.”
“What about your family members—your mom, your sister?”
“Please, don’t even go there. They have too many problems of their own. We’re not even on good terms.”
I replied, “You need to keep praying and avoid isolating yourself. While you fight this battle physically, don’t neglect the spiritual aspect because this isn’t just a normal issue.”
“Do you think I haven’t been praying all this time?” she asked.
“Then try to explore new opportunities that will expose you to the outside world, to other people. Men are attracted to women who showcase their value.”
Before I left, she asked if I could help her find a man, promising to continue patronizing me if I did. I assured her I would do my best and suggested posting about it on my platforms to assist her search. After our conversation, I said goodbye.
As I left, it struck me how stunning Amaka was. It made me realize that not all beautiful women have partners; some are secretly struggling to find love or to have children, resorting to other means for comfort.
Everyone has their own battles in life. What seems easy for one person might be incredibly difficult for another.
There’s no such thing as just waiting for “God’s time” if you’re not actively doing something. If she continues to isolate herself, she might grow old without ever finding a partner or having a child of her own.
Life is a journey, and it’s important to take steps forward, not just wait for things to fall into place.
