My wife is late and I am sleeping with her daughter, my step daughter!
I don’t know if it is wrong or right, I just don’t know if I can marry her if I want to.
I wasn’t doing that when my wife was alive, it never occurred to me. I met my wife in 2009 when her daughter was already seven years old.
I also had a daughter then who was three. I was divorced but my late wife had her daughter in her teens.
I married her a year after we met and we lived happily until she passed away in 2019.
We have two kids together, a boy and a girl, making four kids altogether. Her daughter is my daughter; she even uses my surname.
We don’t know her dad and my late wife never had the chance to show us who her father was till she passed away.
I had asked her about it before but she had always said she never wants to set eyes on that man again so I had let it go.
I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t love her daughter because I do. Before she died, she told me her daughter is mine forever because her father will never find her and she never will, so I should love and treat her just like mine which I have always done.
On her eighteenth birthday, I took all of them out to have fun. On our way back, I was telling her how I need her to focus when she goes to the university because she is young.
She completed her senior certificate exams even before she turned eighteen. I was scared those university boys would take advantage of her.
She assured me nothing would go wrong. I told her I was thinking of taking another wife because I need someone to take care of her siblings in my absence, besides I am only forty-five and still very young.
She confidently told me that she knew I also wanted somebody I could get intimate with.
It was funny but that conversation is what has led to all this. I wouldn’t have even thought of touching her. When we got home that night, I insisted the young ones go to bed and they did.
I later went to her room to ask her to come and prepare lipton for me. I didn’t really need it, I just wanted to find a way to lure her to bed and I eventually did.
She didn’t even resist me. She was a virgin, that’s what broke my heart most. I couldn’t look her in the eye for days but she kept behaving as if nothing happened.
One day she told me to stop acting shy around her because she is fine with what happened.
That evening and almost every other evening she comes to my room. We even sleep together sometimes.
Her siblings have caught us severally and asked why she sleeps in my room but I only tell them that their big sister wants to take last born position and we all laugh.
The thing is eating me up. My daughter behaves and talk to me like a wife now. That’s how I even see her. I don’t remember the last time I saw her like a daughter.
I guess this may be wrong but deep down, I just want to marry her and forgo this guilt that consumes me.
I ask myself questions like “what if she brings a man home? How would I feel? Happy or jealous? Would she tell the man I am her father, husband or her ex? How would she see me afterwards”?
I think mostly of all these and the only thing I feel is right to marry her. I want to really marry her because I can’t keep her hidden forever. It can’t just be about satisfying the urges of my manhood any more.
I don’t know what exactly to do, I know I have already made a mistake by sleeping with her but it’s too late.
It’s been over a year now since we’ve been intimate with each other. The only thing I have tried is not to do is make her pregnant because I don’t want her doing abortions.
That will be the most terrible thing I’d have ever done. I am deep in this mess, I need someone to advise me but, it is a shame. I can’t go to anyone for advice. I need honest opinions.
I don’t even know her family; I won’t be able to take her to my wife’s family and tell them that I want to marry her.
What exactly should I do or how should I go about it? Who should I see and how do I get to do this without society pointing fingers at me? Should we just leave the country and settle abroad? Would my other children understand? She’s not really my blood.
I really need a good advisor or counsellor. Please help me, thank you.
